MFTF Part III: Mystery Solved

I should probably just dedicate my entire blog to Facebook stories about my dad, but for now I'll just keep you all posted via my new series: My Father the Facebooker.

The latest installment brings some clarity to the confusing situation. I was speaking to my dad on the phone when the following occurred:

Father (out of nowhere, and very innocently): "So, should I friend your boyfriend?"

Me: "Daddy! You said you were never even going to friend me!"

Father: "I'm sorry! I thought it would be intrusive."

Me (confused): "Wait. What?"

Father: "You told me once it would be gross for your parents to friend you. So I'm sorry I didn't, but I wanted to give you your privacy."

Me: "But... you did friend me."

Father: "No. You friended me."

Me: "Trust me. I didn't."

Father: "Oh really? Well your cousin did and then your brother and sister did..."

I can hear my siblings in the background simultaneously yell: "NO WE DIDN'T!"

Father: "Oh? Hmm. I'm confused."

And then, it hit me. Friend Suggestion was the culprit!!! My Paraguayan cousin likes to 'friend suggest' different family members. And to be fair to my father, that is pretty damn confusing. You get a message that says, so and so has suggested them as a friend? Accept, Deny. And you click accept and it sends a request to said friend who is never the wiser on how all of this friending nonsense happened in the first place. So my wonderful, loving father was just trying to remain non-intrusive when Friend Suggestion came along and rocked both of our worlds. I should have known. I was feeling a little guilty at making it so abundantly clear that I did not want to be friends with my dad so I tried to lighten up the convo.

Me: "It's just funny to see your walls. Like with other adults."

Father: "Why? I'm a real person too you know." (Actually, you're my dad. So... no you aren't.)

Awkward pause and then....

Father: "I still haven't friended your sister in college yet."

YES! Saved by my delinquent alcoholic sister! (No offense K.)

Me: "Yeah. I think it's best you don't see her Facebook."

Father: "I agree."

Well, at least that's settled. I also had my father promise to try and keep my mother off Facebook. Bigger miracles have been known to happen.

Addendum: My delinquent alcoholic sister suggested I point out that she has made it on to the Dean's list at Duke more times than I have. (Which is easy since I never did at Penn. But she actually has, multiple times). She said "It would add depth." Depth, meet my blog.