Almost As Clever As Mariah's 2008 Album Title

So I walked into the bathroom at Tonic one night and saw a group of girls huddled over a hot pink Blackberry:

Dumb Girl #1: "S-A-R ... then ...wait."

DG #2: "S-A-E ... no that's not right. S-A-R-G-A-N-T. Does that sound right?"

DG #3: "Yeah that is definitely it."

I couldn't help myself:

Me: "Are you girls trying to spell sergeant?"

DGs in unison: "YES!!! Do you know how?"

Me: "Yeah. It's S-E-R-G-E-A-N-T." 

I walk into a bathroom stall and repeat myself, slower, because apparently that was too fast for them.

DG #2: "Oh myyyyy gawwwwwd, you are like, a GE-NIUS! "

DG #3: "Total genius. Definitely."

DG #1: "Yeah, how did you know how to spell that? Do you know somebody in the police academy or something?"

Me: "No, I just knew how."

DG #3: "You are like, a LIFE SAVER. Like, a lifesaving genius. [turns to other DGs] So now, I can send the text right? Gawwwwd he probably reads my text messages out loud to everyone in the band and makes fun of me."

I silently agreed with her, at least the part about the boy making fun of her, but was slightly confused about the band reference. It made me think back to my marching band days, but that doesn't make sense because the person who would be the equivalent to a drill sergeant would be called a drum major. Duh. 

DG #2: "Girls, we have been in the bathroom for-freaking-ever. Maybe it's time to leave. We've already taken pictures and everything."

DG #1: "Yeah, you are right. We should leave. Bye genius!! Thanks again!"

DG #3: "P to the S Jennifer, I love your dress! Didn't you like wear that as a shirt last week?"

And then the door closed. So I never got to hear Jennifer's response to her friend's obviously backhanded compliment — I mean she simultaneously called her a slut and a fashion repeat offender in one fell swoop.

Genius.