[Cue a Jaws and Care Bears Theme Song Remix]

Did the room around you just get a whole lot sunnier? Did you get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside you and have an urge to cuddle up to all of your old stuffed animals? Because this, my friends, is a pink dolphin. He (or she, but I would like to think of him as a fabulously gay male dolphin) was found in a lake in Louisiana. He's an albino dolphin, which is why he is pink. I have a soft spot for albinos — my band director in high school was an African American albino and he was hilarious. Well, not really, but I'm a band nerd and you have to love your director. It's band nerd law.

Regardless, I should probably hate this dolphin just on principle. I mean, he's pink! C'mon! And not like a cool hot, magenta pink. But a Pretty, Pretty Princess pink. He kind of looks like Pepto Bismol. And he's a bottlenose dolphin. Maybe Pepto Bismol can use him in their ads. Bottle...pink.. there's gotta be some joke there. Or not.

I feel bad for his family members. He definitely steals all the attention away. Like the other dolphin in that picture, maybe its a sibling. And the sibling is just that regular dolphin that hangs around and hopes to get some attention from the paparazzi. It's not like the sibling could take a cue from Jamie Lynn Spears and get knocked up as a teenager to gain the spotlight for a little bit because, who cares if a dolphin gets pregnant young? Maybe if it gets jealous enough it'll turn green! That'll show everyone. Okay, corny I know. And I would delete that but it's a tribute to a history of corniness that my family has passed down through the generations.

This dolphin kind of makes me want to bake cupcakes with multi-colored icing, and paint rainbows on my walls, and surround myself with puppies and kittens while singing Kumbaya. He could totally bring on world peace, and cure cancer. But only breast cancer, because... you know.. he's pink. 

Anyways, I thought you guys might enjoy him. If you start to get suicidal from all of the happiness and light in the air, I apologize. It's not easy being pink.