Daddy's Little Drama Queen

Help. This picture terrifies me. Because, it may look like your standard blank Facebook profile picture, but it isn't. Because, next to this picture is a very, very scary name. Because, I thought this day would never come.

My father has friended me on Facebook.

I've heard of this happening — to friends of mine. But I never, ever, thought it would happen to me. I just thought it happened to everyone else. When Facebook first became open to the wild — or the public, rather — and parents started discovering it, it never crossed my mind that my parents would join. When other friends came to me crying, shrieking in agony that their parents had friended them, I said everything you are supposed to say in this situation: "Oh WOW, that is just so AWFUL, I am SO sorry. You know, there's always limited profile." But secretly, I was grateful that my parents would never subject me to this type of torture.

So today, when I saw that email ... you know the one... "The person who has taken care of you your whole life, who taught you to be mature, well-mannered, thoughtful and most of all DISCREET, who thinks or at least hopes you are all of these things, who treats you like the responsible eldest child you should be, has just added you as a friend." ... when I saw that, I died a little inside. They might as well stamp 'disappointing alcoholic potty-mouthed-slut' on my head and call it a day. Because when I joined Facebook I didn't Daddy-proof it. And my walls go WAY back. And I'm not just talking FB walls. I'm talking those figurative walls you put up in high school when you lie and say you just "had a sip of one beer" and "don't even have a crush on that boy, let alone stay by myself with him in the house," and you keep all the truth locked up inside your evil, evil, sinful daughter head.

Then, I saw we had 3 common friends and I thought to myself: Judas, Judas and Judas! Had my three siblings already accepted him, that effortlessly? Shit! But alas, it was just two of my cousins and a friend of mine — et tu Alana? 

So now, I don't know what to do. Do I accept defeat and limit profile? Do I ignore and feel guilty, like, forever? Do I call him up and say, politely, "Daddy, I THOUGHT WE DISCUSSED THIS!?"

I mean, his profile consists of his name, birthday (full, including year), high school and colleges (complete with their graduation dates) and this:

Oh, Daddy dear. I think I'll probably accept, and chide him about it. Gently. But the most terrifying thing is that this could be opening Pandora's Box. This could lead to... and I don't even want to jinx it so I'm knocking on wood but... this could lead to someone else adding me as a friend. 

My mother.

Help.