To slut, or not to slut?

Before we got attacked by a tree branch falling over in the hurricane force winds at Central Park, Cheyenne Jackson told me that Halloween is just an excuse to dress up like a slut. This was after he told me he once dressed up as a slutty boy scout. (Yes, he is an openly gay Broadway star). I in turn, of course quoted Mean Girls (I mean does a better movie even exist? The Original Blair Waldorf, Regina George was in it... hard to cap that) and said "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

And truth is, I fully support dressing slutty. In fact, before I went to my Ivy League college I dressed like a slut on a regular basis, and didn't even realize it. But hey, that's a whole other post about being Floridian which I will get to later.

Anyways, my point is, when does the appropriately slutty Halloween costume stop being appropriate? At what age is it not ok to wear a green bikini top, drape some leaves on yourself and say you are "Poison Ivy?" Or buy a 6-year old's firefighter's jacket wear it with a black bra and stilettos and then drunkenly pose with real firefighters?

I vote next year. When I am 25 (the most terrifying age in the history of the world...until you turn 30) then I will stop pondering whether I should be a sexy mental patient or a sexy referee or Lara Croft (who is, let's face it, just plain sexy).

Then I can concentrate on the "witty Halloween costumes." Like my friend who dressed in a black slip and wrote Freud on it and she was a Freudian slip. Or my "caught red-handed" friend who put a fishnet over his head and painted his hand red. Last year I tried to be witty by buying mouse ears and saying "Duh, I'm a mouse" but really I was Karen from Mean Girls but nobody got that and it fell flat and I found myself wishing I had dressed up as a sexy catwoman again instead. I did dress up as Bud Lite (bud shirt with glowsticks everywhere) and Bud Wiser (budweiser shirt with grey hair, beard and glasses) with the BF the night before though and that got rave reviews.

So yes... next year. You will see me completely appropriately clad.

Well, maybe.